To Bleed Always Without the Grace of Dying
by Shinigami no Aiwa
Summary: Okay, this is my attempt at one of those great epic-fics that I love so much... it's barely started; reader interest will determine if it gets farther. Later shounen-ai, some other squelchy things explained in the warnings... nothing bad in this here prol


To Bleed Always Without the Grace of Dying  
( or TBAWGD )  
  
  
  
In the beginning...  
In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was God.   
  
And God was freaking BORED.  
  
As He sat upon His seat of absolutely nothing, looking down at all that existed, He had the feeling there was something more he had meant to do; but there was no one for Him to ask, so he set upon the task of making someone to keep Him company.  
  
It didn't take long; for he was God, after all.  
  
In a span of about ten minutes ( but who was counting? not like there was a clock) he had created the first being to gaze upon nothing, except for his own divine self. He was man-formed, much like God himself; but with intense Prussian blue eyes and deeply mahogany hair... his short form, lithe and muscled, was graced with a pair of white feathered wings, and for some reason he was clothed in a green tanktop and black spandex- which God found odd, since Spandex hadn't been invented yet, but he chose not to comment.   
Looking down at his new creation, God was very pleased.  
  
" Hello, my first creation... my first angel. I will call you... Hero. For you will be the hero to nations and worlds and peoples, many years in the future, when mankind rules this galaxy."  
  
The slightly nasal monotone which would be so familiar to millions of yaoi fangirls many, many years later replied.  
  
" One E or two?"  
  
A/n: Alright, the little humorous prologue is over. Time for the serious stuff. ^_^;; Warnings: shounen-ai, maybe yaoi, I haven't decided yet. 1+2 ( of COURSE)- maybe 1x2/2x1 and maybe 4+3/3+4. Sacrilege, blasphemy, and/or heresy... I'm not quite certain.   
Self-mutilation, NCS ( in no great detail ), Relena bashing, and jerky Wufei. You have been warned. Flames will be used to fuel my trusty Shinigami Flamethrower, and I will then layeth a smacketh downeth uponeth youreth asseth.  
Again, I say, you have definitely a warning had.  
  
There are two timelines in this; one, in 15th century Italy and Heaven, and the other AC 197, in our normal Gundam boy universe. You can tell the difference, I assure you.   
  
TBAWGD  
  
/ Here we kiss in sunlit day  
You and I always will remember  
Deep in demon's melody, we turn and farewell  
echoes from these lips of mine/  
  
I'm looking at him, and I don't think he cares. If he cared, maybe he'd turn around and say hello, perhaps?  
But nooo, all he does is sit, and type; and the war's over!  
Heero Yuy. 'Perfect Soldier'. If I hear the nickname again I don't think I can be responsible for the consequences... it represents how I can't get close to him. It represents my failure to make him feel.  
Ever since the end of Mariemaia's little fiasco, I've been losing confidence at a record rate... even though I keep trying.   
It's instinctual now... I don't even have to think to contrive ways to get closer to him; my whole soul wants it so badly.   
  
I tag around after him like a little lost puppy; it's almost sad, really. I had been hoping so desperately that I could go back to a normal life after the war... and in a way, I suppose I have. Well, lusting after Heero isn't really normal, seeing as I'm of the same sex, but no one knows about that... so on the surface, my life is normal. I'm struggling through eleventh grade in high school, trying my hardest not to fall asleep in Pre-Calculus... while Heero next to me takes color-coded notes. I can imagine him droning, " I am perfect, I will eliminate all wrong answers, incorrect equations, and grades under 100 that are set before me..."  
  
Yeah, life's okay, thanks to my sense of humor.  
  
But it's pointless. Normal life is really, really boring. Especially normal life like this.  
It could be worse, really. At least the others are here too... none of us really had much to do after the war.  
  
Trowa came along, and since he did, so did Quatre... leaving one of his many sisters to take care of the business while he finished real schooling. Lucky him, he knows what he's going to do with his life, he never had to wonder. And if Trowa's uncertain, who can tell?  
  
Wufei is the top student in all our grade even with all his complaining about not needing to be in school, beating Heero by one tenth of a point... I keep a close eye on both of them, to make sure Heero doesn't strangle him sometime. And that's about all my life. Talking to ( or at, in the cases of Trowa and Heero ) my friends, being annoying, lusting after Heero, attempting to see if he lusts after me, trying to figure out new ways to blow up things in Chem... sure, it's fun.   
  
I thought after the war, we would have made everyone's lives have a point, but now that I am finally able to have one, it seems like there IS no point. I thought we might join the Preventers or something, help protect peace... but none of us can fight anymore.   
I thought... I THOUGHT we could still make a difference, but all we're doing is living.  
  
You know, I just noticed I'm still staring at Heero's red-clad back... finally he stopped wearing that green tanktop every day, when I told him normal people change their clothes... maybe I do have some effect on him. I'm pretty sure he cares in SOME manner about me; I'm not blind. However... I doubt he's gay. Hell, I doubt I'M gay. I have no idea what my sexual preference is, since me and Hilde did have that brief little fling... interesting memories from THAT...   
  
Hey, it's quiet now. Focusing my attention on Heero's back again, I notice that it looks a little different... because that's his front. He's turned around, giving me the Heero Yuy death glare. I try and act unconcerned... hard to do, when he looks so damn handsome when he's angry. I must really be a masochist.  
  
" Got a cigarette? " I ask, just for a little joke. " I lost my lighter, but I think your expression could set it on fire..."  
  
He makes a noise, something between a grunt and a " Aa. " He is not amused.   
  
" Why are you staring at me?"  
  
I blink at him. He actually talked to me of his own accord!  
I have to ignore the fact that his voice is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard to get a reply out around the lump in my throat...  
  
" No reason, really. " * Just wondering why you don't leave that laptop alone and come over here and talk to me. *  
  
" Hn. Baka. " Well, back to old familiar ground. So familiar my feet hurt desperately from covering it again. Why do I bother to care about this antisocial jerk?  
  
I said it once, I'll say it again. I'm a masochist.  
  
~~~~~  
  
" Heero. I want to talk to you about something... About seventeen revolutions ago, one of the angels and a human had a child together. You ARE aware of this, right?"  
  
" Hn. " The tousled umber locks swept down into the archangel's face, hiding one deep blue eye as he stoically made a sound of agreement. He was clad in typical garb of the time; typical garb for Earth, of the fifteenth century, and was by far the most taciturn, stubborn, and irritating creature to live in heaven.  
  
God sighed. How had he created such a different angel? The others were so much... happier.   
" He's grown now, and has come to the Devil's attention, for several reasons. "  
  
One of Heero's brows quirked; that was an interesting development. A half-human half-ANGEL interesting to the devil?   
  
God, encouraged by this sign of apparent interest, conjured up a picture.   
  
The boy was lovely... a rich fall of chestnut hair framing a face almost feminine in its delicacy; impossible large violet eyes, slighty shadowed; a slim form, clad appealingly in the fine clothes of the Italian nobility of the time.   
The angel sucked in his breath sharply, perhaps the most intense reaction ever seen from him.   
  
" As you can see, he's quite beautiful by angel, human... and demon standards. The devil wants him as his own, but he's guaranteed heaven at the moment... not only was his father an angel, but he's a very good, kind person, and a believing Christian. However, the devil is very persistant... he will try and corrupt him. I have bound myself to a non-interference policy in my world's major events, as you know; by my own vow, I cannot fight for his soul myself. "  
  
God's voice, all-knowing , was tinged with sadness, knowing what he doomed his dearest angel to.   
  
" You will have to. "  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
